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Father Figure
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 Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:05 pm Post subject: Does my income define me as a father? |
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I was a happy father, working and taking care of the baby at night
while her mother took classes. One day, when I came home from work,
she had moved out. I didn't know where she was. I didn't know where
my baby was. Turned out, she had run away with one of my close
friends.
I freaked out and in my despair, said and did things that I now
regret. No crimes were committed, nothing like that, but suffice it
to say that I freaked out. The pain of betrayal threw me into a deep
depression and for years, I could not function. I was suddenly
reduced to "less than" a father and made a mere visitor in my child's
life as my former close friend slipped right into place as her
"father".
I managed to get a very high paying job for about a month. I have
ADHD and couldn't concentrate on the stressful work that this job
entailed, but because I had that high paying job for one month, I was
deemed by the courts as being able to make that amount of money on a
regular basis so my child support payments are huge and I have not
been able to keep up with them. A lot of it has to do with the
depression that comes with thinking that life is beautiful one minute
and being knocked off my feet the next. People just don't understand
the depression that goes along with being made a second class citizen
in one's child's life. I am way behind on support. I want to pay it,
but I can't. If I work maybe 60 hours a week, I can, but ALL of my
salary would go toward supporting a woman who has, in the last month,
purchased a half milllion dollar home and has now had another child
with my former friend.
How is it that because of this inability to pay the amount she is
asking gets twisted into my not being a good father or my not caring
or my not loving my daughter or my being undeserving of having her in
my life the way I used to have her? How is it that this one thing has
now knocked me down into second class citizen status and makes the
step father a "better" father than I am. I still love my child as
much as I ever did. How is it that because my ex decided to marry
someone from a wealthy family that this means she loves my daughter
"more" than I do and that her current family is somehow "better" than
I am.
The facts are plain and simple. I have ADHD. I am on medication for
it. My brain is wired differently from people who don't have this
disorder. I work hard when I can find a job that I can perform and I
make my child support payments when I can, but the money does not go
to my child. It goes to the mother and the half million dollar home.
I didn't abandon my family. SHE chose to leave my family. I loved my
family and provided as best I could. I still love my daughter with
everything I have but she is being brain washed into believing that
the value of a father lies solely in his ability to pay or not pay
child support. I didn't ask her mother to leave me. I didn't ask for
any of this. I do the best I can. |
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DB
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| Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:31 pm Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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"Viking" <noway@goodgoodbye.com> wrote in
| Quote: |
If you're not a troll, get a lawyer and be prepared to spend $10,000+
to get your cs payments adjusted.
|
Fake or not, the system keeps you so broke that you can't afford to defend
yourself!
Think about this, why should anyone have to fight for what should be a
natural born right in terms of access to your own children? A father
should never be a defendant to his children! |
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Viking
Guest
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| Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:18 pm Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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Are you a troll? We get lots of trolls that post fake stories like
yours to soc.men.
If you're not a troll, get a lawyer and be prepared to spend $10,000+
to get your cs payments adjusted.
Of course, I might ask where you were when we were fighting for
fathers' rights all these years. As usual, dads in trouble never think
of fighting for fathers' rights until it hits them. And not even
then--they just want a quick solution. If your problem gets fixed,
you'll just go back to ignoring fathers' rights efforts, I'm certain.
I've seen that so many times--and fathers wonder why the system is so
set against them. |
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DB
Guest
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| Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:05 pm Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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"Viking" <noway@goodgoodbye.com> wrote in
| Quote: |
Well, duh. Fathers' rights activists, including myself, have always
thought fathers shouldn't have to fight for their natural rights. But
males in general absolutely clam up when it comes to gender and family
court issues, and we have gotten no support. It's like fighting for
the rights of sheep. Eventually, you get tired of doing it. If they're
not going to stand up for themselves, and resist you when you try to
stand up for them, it becomes a losing proposition. All you ever hear
from are fathers in trouble, and if you solve their problem for them,
you never hear from them again.
|
It's much like the Cancer causes or even worse is drunking driver crusaders.
It's only when people are directly effected will they take any action.
Most people are too busy trying to earn a living, it's a shame they have to
deal with any of this shit!
Isn't it curious how the woman's rights moment is so active to the point
where they can have any legislation passed without any real opposition. Look
at the source of their organizations!
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be
the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under
omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep,
his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our
own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of
their consciences." -- C. S. Lewis |
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Viking
Guest
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| Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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On Tue, 15 Jul 2008 09:31:28 -0700, "DB" <DeeBee@netscape.net> wrote:
| Quote: |
"Viking" <noway@goodgoodbye.com> wrote in
If you're not a troll, get a lawyer and be prepared to spend $10,000+
to get your cs payments adjusted.
Fake or not, the system keeps you so broke that you can't afford to defend
yourself!
Think about this, why should anyone have to fight for what should be a
natural born right in terms of access to your own children? A father
should never be a defendant to his children!
|
Well, duh. Fathers' rights activists, including myself, have always
thought fathers shouldn't have to fight for their natural rights. But
males in general absolutely clam up when it comes to gender and family
court issues, and we have gotten no support. It's like fighting for
the rights of sheep. Eventually, you get tired of doing it. If they're
not going to stand up for themselves, and resist you when you try to
stand up for them, it becomes a losing proposition. All you ever hear
from are fathers in trouble, and if you solve their problem for them,
you never hear from them again. Spent fifteen years fighting for their
rights, but when you talk to fathers and men about their rights, they
just look at the ground and say, "Well, most men are beasts...." (I
have heard just those words dozens of times.) Hell with it, I am sick
to death of hearing from fathers in trouble who've never lifted a
finger to change the situation and want pity and help immediately. |
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teachrmama
Guest
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| Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:57 pm Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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I can't imagine why you ae angry at DB. He is on the same side you are. He
is talking about the fact that most people do not know their liberties have
been taken away until the loss of those liberties affects them personally.
And he is right! Society, in general, really does believe the "deadbeat
dad" mantra, and thinks that these things only happen to those who deserve
them. I did not get the impression that he was calling *you* a drunken
driver crusader, or anything else derogatory.
"Viking" <noway@goodgoodbye.com> wrote in message
news:54up74tujj232s9ppm265hbj8hj6j01bur@4ax.com...
| Quote: |
On Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:05:49 -0700, "DB" <DeeBee@netscape.net> wrote:
"Viking" <noway@goodgoodbye.com> wrote in
Well, duh. Fathers' rights activists, including myself, have always
thought fathers shouldn't have to fight for their natural rights. But
males in general absolutely clam up when it comes to gender and family
court issues, and we have gotten no support. It's like fighting for
the rights of sheep. Eventually, you get tired of doing it. If they're
not going to stand up for themselves, and resist you when you try to
stand up for them, it becomes a losing proposition. All you ever hear
from are fathers in trouble, and if you solve their problem for them,
you never hear from them again.
It's much like the Cancer causes or even worse is drunking driver
crusaders.
Listen you moron, I ain't no "drunking" driver crusader. I ain't no
one who "torment[s] us for our own good." Point out exactly how I'm
"torturing" people, you idiot. I'm just an activist who got fed up
working for sheep. Sheep like you that complain and do nothing to help
themselves.
It's only when people are directly effected will they take any action.
Then they, like you, deserve all the shit you get. If you can't
protect your freedoms, don't expect them to be around when you start
crying about them.
You want quotes? I'll give you quotes: "The price of liberty is
eternal vigilance."--Thomas Jefferson
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teachrmama
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:00 am Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
|
|
Just out of curiosity, where do you live that they set the CS amount based
on one month's salary? Where we are, it is set by your tax returns from the
previous several years, or by 6 months of pay stubs.
"Father Figure" <fatherfigure53@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:0ca7939c-413e-4bdf-ac5d-5f290ccfd66d@s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
| Quote: |
I was a happy father, working and taking care of the baby at night
while her mother took classes. One day, when I came home from work,
she had moved out. I didn't know where she was. I didn't know where
my baby was. Turned out, she had run away with one of my close
friends.
I freaked out and in my despair, said and did things that I now
regret. No crimes were committed, nothing like that, but suffice it
to say that I freaked out. The pain of betrayal threw me into a deep
depression and for years, I could not function. I was suddenly
reduced to "less than" a father and made a mere visitor in my child's
life as my former close friend slipped right into place as her
"father".
I managed to get a very high paying job for about a month. I have
ADHD and couldn't concentrate on the stressful work that this job
entailed, but because I had that high paying job for one month, I was
deemed by the courts as being able to make that amount of money on a
regular basis so my child support payments are huge and I have not
been able to keep up with them. A lot of it has to do with the
depression that comes with thinking that life is beautiful one minute
and being knocked off my feet the next. People just don't understand
the depression that goes along with being made a second class citizen
in one's child's life. I am way behind on support. I want to pay it,
but I can't. If I work maybe 60 hours a week, I can, but ALL of my
salary would go toward supporting a woman who has, in the last month,
purchased a half milllion dollar home and has now had another child
with my former friend.
How is it that because of this inability to pay the amount she is
asking gets twisted into my not being a good father or my not caring
or my not loving my daughter or my being undeserving of having her in
my life the way I used to have her? How is it that this one thing has
now knocked me down into second class citizen status and makes the
step father a "better" father than I am. I still love my child as
much as I ever did. How is it that because my ex decided to marry
someone from a wealthy family that this means she loves my daughter
"more" than I do and that her current family is somehow "better" than
I am.
The facts are plain and simple. I have ADHD. I am on medication for
it. My brain is wired differently from people who don't have this
disorder. I work hard when I can find a job that I can perform and I
make my child support payments when I can, but the money does not go
to my child. It goes to the mother and the half million dollar home.
I didn't abandon my family. SHE chose to leave my family. I loved my
family and provided as best I could. I still love my daughter with
everything I have but she is being brain washed into believing that
the value of a father lies solely in his ability to pay or not pay
child support. I didn't ask her mother to leave me. I didn't ask for
any of this. I do the best I can. |
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Viking
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:29 am Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
|
|
On Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:05:49 -0700, "DB" <DeeBee@netscape.net> wrote:
| Quote: |
"Viking" <noway@goodgoodbye.com> wrote in
Well, duh. Fathers' rights activists, including myself, have always
thought fathers shouldn't have to fight for their natural rights. But
males in general absolutely clam up when it comes to gender and family
court issues, and we have gotten no support. It's like fighting for
the rights of sheep. Eventually, you get tired of doing it. If they're
not going to stand up for themselves, and resist you when you try to
stand up for them, it becomes a losing proposition. All you ever hear
from are fathers in trouble, and if you solve their problem for them,
you never hear from them again.
It's much like the Cancer causes or even worse is drunking driver crusaders.
|
Listen you moron, I ain't no "drunking" driver crusader. I ain't no
one who "torment[s] us for our own good." Point out exactly how I'm
"torturing" people, you idiot. I'm just an activist who got fed up
working for sheep. Sheep like you that complain and do nothing to help
themselves.
| Quote: |
It's only when people are directly effected will they take any action.
|
Then they, like you, deserve all the shit you get. If you can't
protect your freedoms, don't expect them to be around when you start
crying about them.
You want quotes? I'll give you quotes: "The price of liberty is
eternal vigilance."--Thomas Jefferson |
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Avenger
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:55 am Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
|
|
"Father Figure" <fatherfigure53@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:0ca7939c-413e-4bdf-ac5d-5f290ccfd66d@s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
| Quote: |
I was a happy father, working and taking care of the baby at night
while her mother took classes. One day, when I came home from work,
she had moved out. I didn't know where she was. I didn't know where
my baby was. Turned out, she had run away with one of my close
friends.
|
Ok doesn't matter if he's a troll I'll give some advice. Your first mistake
was getting married. You don't understand females or life. Men and women
have nothing in common and females are programmed to live off men. The only
reason men even bother with females is their blind urge to reproduce (sex)
and I can easily prove this by giving you a drug that will reduce your sex
drive to 0.
| Quote: |
I freaked out and in my despair, said and did things that I now
regret. No crimes were committed, nothing like that, but suffice it
to say that I freaked out. The pain of betrayal threw me into a deep
depression and for years, I could not function. I was suddenly
reduced to "less than" a father and made a mere visitor in my child's
life as my former close friend slipped right into place as her
"father".
I managed to get a very high paying job for about a month. I have
ADHD and couldn't concentrate on the stressful work that this job
entailed, but because I had that high paying job for one month, I was
deemed by the courts as being able to make that amount of money
|
The first thing you should have done is not work at all. Based on your
condition you should have applied for disability then other benefits that
can't be touched. You're too incompetent to even appear in court and a
lawyer (free) has to represent you. Once the bitch and the judge sees
there's no money to be had from you they will give up.
on a
| Quote: |
regular basis so my child support payments are huge and I have not
been able to keep up with them. A lot of it has to do with the
depression that comes with thinking that life is beautiful one minute
and being knocked off my feet the next. People just don't understand
the depression that goes along with being made a second class citizen
in one's child's life. I am way behind on support. I want to pay it,
but I can't. If I work maybe 60 hours a week, I can, but ALL of my
salary would go toward supporting a woman who has, in the last month,
purchased a half milllion dollar home and has now had another child
with my former friend.
How is it that because of this inability to pay the amount she is
asking gets twisted into my not being a good father or my not caring
or my not loving my daughter or my being undeserving of having her in
my life the way I used to have her? How is it that this one thing has
now knocked me down into second class citizen status and makes the
step father a "better" father than I am. I still love my child as
much as I ever did. How is it that because my ex decided to marry
someone from a wealthy family that this means she loves my daughter
"more" than I do and that her current family is somehow "better" than
I am.
The facts are plain and simple. I have ADHD. I am on medication for
it. My brain is wired differently from people who don't have this
disorder. I work hard when I can find a job that I can perform and I
make my child support payments when I can, but the money does not go
to my child. It goes to the mother and the half million dollar home.
|
Stop making any payments. They get 0 from now on. Females and their
offspring should be punished for their misconduct. Let her new rich husband
foot the bill.
| Quote: |
I didn't abandon my family. SHE chose to leave my family. I loved my
family and provided as best I could. I still love my daughter with
everything I have but she is being brain washed into believing that
the value of a father lies solely in his ability to pay or not pay
child support. I didn't ask her mother to leave me. I didn't ask for
any of this. I do the best I can. |
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Dusty
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:09 am Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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"teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in message
news:g5is58020v6@news5.newsguy.com...
| Quote: |
Just out of curiosity, where do you live that they set the CS amount based
on one month's salary? Where we are, it is set by your tax returns from
the previous several years, or by 6 months of pay stubs.
|
Massachusetts, a wonderful place if your a divorce attorney, will often set
one's monthly C$ payments based on weekly pay stubs. That weekly amount is
then multiplied by 4.3 to create one's monthly support amount.
And of course, all this is based on pre-tax income.
Then CSE adds in fines, fees, penalties and interest into the amount owed.
This new amount is often far beyond what was originally owed in the first
place. And if that trick doesn't work, then the judge will add in non-C$
monies, such as your X's attorneys fees, marital debt, credit card bills,
insurance payments, car payments and anything else old thing they can come
up with. Yes, I said "they can come up with", by that I mean your X's
attorney and the judge. There is no difference between the two, save for
the robes and the amount they concoct that you owe.
So, yeah, it's possible he's from a place where they'd do that (use your
weekly pay, that is). |
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teachrmama
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:49 am Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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|
"Dusty" <no.one@home.org> wrote in message
news:g5j053$vkp$00$1@news.t-online.com...
| Quote: |
"teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in message
news:g5is58020v6@news5.newsguy.com...
Just out of curiosity, where do you live that they set the CS amount
based on one month's salary? Where we are, it is set by your tax returns
from the previous several years, or by 6 months of pay stubs.
Massachusetts, a wonderful place if your a divorce attorney, will often
set one's monthly C$ payments based on weekly pay stubs. That weekly
amount is then multiplied by 4.3 to create one's monthly support amount.
And of course, all this is based on pre-tax income.
Then CSE adds in fines, fees, penalties and interest into the amount owed.
This new amount is often far beyond what was originally owed in the first
place. And if that trick doesn't work, then the judge will add in non-C$
monies, such as your X's attorneys fees, marital debt, credit card bills,
insurance payments, car payments and anything else old thing they can come
up with. Yes, I said "they can come up with", by that I mean your X's
attorney and the judge. There is no difference between the two, save for
the robes and the amount they concoct that you owe.
So, yeah, it's possible he's from a place where they'd do that (use your
weekly pay, that is).
|
That is so outrageous!! |
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Bob W
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:05 am Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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"Dusty" <no.one@home.org> wrote in message
news:g5j053$vkp$00$1@news.t-online.com...
| Quote: |
"teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in message
news:g5is58020v6@news5.newsguy.com...
Just out of curiosity, where do you live that they set the CS amount
based on one month's salary? Where we are, it is set by your tax returns
from the previous several years, or by 6 months of pay stubs.
Massachusetts, a wonderful place if your a divorce attorney, will often
set one's monthly C$ payments based on weekly pay stubs. That weekly
amount is then multiplied by 4.3 to create one's monthly support amount.
|
This brings back old memories for me. My paydays were bi-weekly so they
multiplied my income by 26 and divided by 12 to come up with the monthly
amount.
My ex's paydays were weekly so they multiplied her income by 4 (not 4.3) to
come up with her monthly amount. They must have figured I wouldn't notice.
When I sent a written objection to the court prior to the signing of the
modification order, the court denied my objection. It was just little
chicken s*** moves like that that motivated me to become an activists. |
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Dusty
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:37 am Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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"teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in message
news:g5j2h20279m@news5.newsguy.com...
| Quote: |
"Dusty" <no.one@home.org> wrote in message
news:g5j053$vkp$00$1@news.t-online.com...
"teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in message
news:g5is58020v6@news5.newsguy.com...
Just out of curiosity, where do you live that they set the CS amount
based on one month's salary? Where we are, it is set by your tax
returns from the previous several years, or by 6 months of pay stubs.
Massachusetts, a wonderful place if your a divorce attorney, will often
set one's monthly C$ payments based on weekly pay stubs. That weekly
amount is then multiplied by 4.3 to create one's monthly support amount.
And of course, all this is based on pre-tax income.
Then CSE adds in fines, fees, penalties and interest into the amount
owed. This new amount is often far beyond what was originally owed in the
first place. And if that trick doesn't work, then the judge will add in
non-C$ monies, such as your X's attorneys fees, marital debt, credit card
bills, insurance payments, car payments and anything else old thing they
can come up with. Yes, I said "they can come up with", by that I mean
your X's attorney and the judge. There is no difference between the two,
save for the robes and the amount they concoct that you owe.
So, yeah, it's possible he's from a place where they'd do that (use your
weekly pay, that is).
That is so outrageous!!
|
Tell me about it. I've been going round and round with them about it for
years.
Oh, and get this.. they've decided to give the CP a $20K break on expenses
(up $5K from the $15,000 is used to be).
This is taken from the CP's available cash used to calculate the amount of
C$ owed by the NCP. The commonwealth claims this is so the CP can keep a
roof over her head and food on the table. Yet, the NCP isn't given the same
break.
Here's the link..
http://www.mass.gov/courts/formsandguidelines/csg2006.html
Look for II. FACTORS TO BE CONSIDERED IN SETTING THE CHILD SUPPORT ORDER;
(C). It's in the first paragraph. It's also found on the paper form used
to figure C$ amounts. But it's not on the electronic one
(http://www.dor.state.ma.us/apps/worksheets/cse/guidelines-short.asp). |
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DB
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:05 am Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
|
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"teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in message
news:g5irvd020qs@news5.newsguy.com...
| Quote: |
I can't imagine why you ae angry at DB. He is on the same side you are.
He is talking about the fact that most people do not know their liberties
have been taken away until the loss of those liberties affects them
personally.
|
Seems the man lacks some reading comprehension skills! LOL
People who are not directly effected by the CS system just don't have a clue
what is really going on.
People still get married, have children and unfortunately divorce years
later with the mistaken impression or naive notion that they have rights
that protect them and look after their best interests.
Little did they know that the people who they trusted and put in charge to
look after their rights and well being were the same assholes that sold them
out and are now fucking them over for the sake of advancing their own
political careers.
Father's rights is a joke, sad but people think the AIDS cause in Africa is
far more important!
The Government seems to think so too, they're sending $30 Billion of your
tax dollars to help support that cause.
Politicians are very generous with other people's money! |
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Phil
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:14 pm Post subject: Re: Does my income define me as a father? |
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"Viking" <noway@goodgoodbye.com> wrote in message
news:54up74tujj232s9ppm265hbj8hj6j01bur@4ax.com...
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On Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:05:49 -0700, "DB" <DeeBee@netscape.net> wrote:
"Viking" <noway@goodgoodbye.com> wrote in
Well, duh. Fathers' rights activists, including myself, have always
thought fathers shouldn't have to fight for their natural rights.
But
males in general absolutely clam up when it comes to gender and
family
court issues, and we have gotten no support. It's like fighting for
the rights of sheep. Eventually, you get tired of doing it. If
they're
not going to stand up for themselves, and resist you when you try to
stand up for them, it becomes a losing proposition. All you ever
hear
from are fathers in trouble, and if you solve their problem for
them,
you never hear from them again.
It's much like the Cancer causes or even worse is drunking driver
crusaders.
Listen you moron, I ain't no "drunking" driver crusader. I ain't no
one who "torment[s] us for our own good." Point out exactly how I'm
"torturing" people, you idiot. I'm just an activist who got fed up
working for sheep. Sheep like you that complain and do nothing to help
themselves.
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Attacking people whow share the same aim is not a way to win friends and
influence anyone.
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It's only when people are directly effected will they take any action.
Then they, like you, deserve all the shit you get. If you can't
protect your freedoms, don't expect them to be around when you start
crying about them.
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True to a point but when you are facing an enemy of immense proportions
(the government), you must pick and choose your battles or else wind up
in jail or dead. Either way, you won't be much help to anyone. There are
only two ways to defeat an enemy: 1) Destroy him or; 2) change him. I
opt for the second. (Oh, by the way, as I said in another post, I no
longer have to pay child support so I'm one that stuck around although I
haven't been as active as I wish, I plan to change that before the year
is out).
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You want quotes? I'll give you quotes: "The price of liberty is
eternal vigilance."--Thomas Jefferson
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The essence of Government is power; and power, lodged as it must be in
human hands, will ever be liable to abuse. ~Jas. Madison
Phil #3 |
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